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Every April Fool’s Day story from The Loadout

From Phil Spencer's funeral plans to Tom Cruise cameos, here is a collection of our April Fool's Day stories from across the years.

April Fools The Loadout

It’s safe to say that we’re a pretty sarky bunch here at The Loadout, and for one day of the year, we love to turn that sheer sarcasm into something a bit… well, off the wall. While we pride ourselves on delivering you well-reported news, helpful guides, and honest-held opinions, there is one article per year where we decide to bend the rules.

From potentially burying Phil Spencer in an Xbox Series X fridge, to Sony’s sinister secret PS Plus tier, here are all of The Loadout’s April Fool’s Day gags for your enjoyment.

April Fool’s 2024

Helldivers 2 movie: A split image with one half showing a fully-armored soldier from Helldivers 2 kneeling and giving a thumbs-up, and the other half being a close up shot of Hideo Kojima

Hideo Kojima reveals Helldivers 2 movie, starring Chris Pratt as Joel

Metal Gear Solid mastermind Hideo Kojima has revealed a new Helldivers 2 movie that has been rapidly shot in secret since the PS5 game’s blockbuster launch.

The project, which came to fruition by an off-chance encounter with Arrowhead’s CEO Johan Pilestedt, also stars Guardians of the Galaxy star Chris Pratt as the iconic game master Joel. Here’s what we learned during an on-set visit at Sony Pictures Studios in Los Angeles.

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April Fool’s 2023

Starfield Tom Cruise cameo: Tom Cruise looks over his shoulder as a space vista looms behind

Tom Cruise abandons Starfield cameo after Bethesda bans space stunts

Reportedly, Cruise had submitted a hulking, 5,000 page tome – which for some reason had his footprints on – to the studio. When the plans – which included creating a giant racing track just outside the Earth’s orbit, complete with “slippery bananas and exploding turtle shells” – were deemed too tall an order, the actor became short.

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April Fools 2022

PlayStation Plus secret fourth tier: Xbox games falling into the shadow realm as Phil Spencer eats turkey dinosaurs

Sony to reveal PS Plus fourth tier that deletes Xbox games from existence

The new technology behind the PS Plus Extra Ultra 4K 3D Surround Sound Bravia package, which Sony has codenamed ‘Turkey Dinosaurs’ after CEO Jim Ryan’s favourite food, is reportedly able to create tiny pockets in space-time, allowing players to pop even the peskiest of competitor titles into a miniature void, eradicating it from our collective memory.

In fact, there’s a very good chance that internal testing of the tech is responsible for the lacklustre lineup of Xbox exclusives at the launch of the Series X|S.

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Phil Spencer's Xbox fridge funeral casket

Phil Spencer wants to be buried in an Xbox Series X fridge

“He just rolled over after a loud snore and uttered ‘Bond is going to be Master Chief,’” Svensson says. Presumably, Spencer was referring to Sarah Bond, Xbox’s then vice president.

“He also asked Alexa to remind him to buy blue body paint because Todd Howard will be Cortana,” Svensson adds. It became obvious that Spencer was planning a theatrical display, and continued by telling the two men the fridge, with him in it, would be delivered to the ceremony by air via a UNSC Pelican, and he needed Master Chief and Cortana to fast rope down with him.

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There you have it – all our April gags in full. Sometimes these stories write themselves, sometimes they take months to plan. Either way, you can guarantee we’re already thinking about next year.