The reboot of Saints Row is almost here, and while Volition has aimed for a bit more realism compared to past games, there’s still plenty of Saints Row-ness throughout. Even once you’ve completed the main story (don’t worry, no spoilers ahead), the post-game will give you one final shot to do something totally ridiculous, and probably make you stone cold broke in the process.
That’s because completing the main story will unlock a new shop called Everything’s A Million Dollars, and as you can probably tell from the name, its wares aren’t cheap. So, what does this fine establishment sell? A golden suit? A platinum-coated supercar? Erm, not exactly.
What it actually sells is a whole host of random objects that you can essentially transform yourself into. While you’ll probably already look quite striking thanks to the millions of customisation possibilities in Saints Row’s character creator, a purchase from Everything’s A Million Dollars will certainly give you a unique look.
For a million in-game dollars, you can turn yourself into a vending machine, a cactus, a toilet, or even a moving tornado of socks.
However, it turns out that not everything is a million dollars at this store, because there are even more wasteful ways to burn your end-game cash.
For five million dollars, you can become a bale of tumbleweed, or a swarm of killer bees if you prefer. Becoming a literal pile of cash will set you back ten million dollars. And then if you just so happen to have 25 million lying around, you could become an Astral Projection – quite literally a purple cloud of celestial-looking dust.
As you can tell from our Saints Row review, the storyline is not this game’s strong suit. However, at least there’s a motivation to complete it now – running around Santo Ileso terrorising people as a heavily-armed vending machine. Nice.
For more info on Volition’s reboot, check out our Saints Row map guide for the rundown on Santo Ileso.